Hey, Have You Seen The 90s?

I missed the 90s. Really, really missed those 90s time. Those were the best time of my youth. Everything was superbly amazing. The style, the trend & the music; of the grunge and alternative rock era where everything was so simple and pure.

I was in my late teen circa 92 -93, being 18-19 years of age and just coming out of a small town to further my study in one of the best and renowned university in the big city. Life was looking way much different in the big one. New place, new friends, new beginning. But that was what I had always wanted - to get out of the small, restricting town into a bigger world out there. Nirvana was already a big name then from 1988 with its smashing teen-rock-angst ‘Nevermind’. And so the whole grunge era started and goodbye glam rock of the 80s!

I was one of those lucky youth who gets to spend my younger time listening to quality music and experiencing those alternative-grunge phase. It’s not even justice calling it a phase ‘cos it sure does stay on and lingered in my heart ‘til now.

There were those flared-boot cut-jeans that are so flattering to any body shape that replaced the old ‘carrot-cut’ jeans of the 80s which now they called skinny jeans or whatever. How ugly!

Long-haired, shaggy haircuts were on every young male that ever walked the earth. And if it’s not the hair, it’s the plaid, flannel shirt and the torn in the knee-boot-cut jeans that adorned them. Ladies alike were wearing those jeans too, paired up with a baby tee and a platform shoes! Then the style and trend were really, really original. Cute grandma & baby doll dresses on the girls, even the radios too were playing mostly rock songs of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Pepper, etc. Those were the music; those were the ones that we sang to day and night.

Amazing time of self-discovery, friendship and love; and how I now long for that time again. How I wish I could relived those moments in time for me to know more and to know better. Although it is always a wishful thinking, I couldn’t help praying that God will give me that miracle to be back there at that time again. How I wish I will do things differently.

What I missed most is the good sounds of the 90s. The Lemonheads were damn fine and popular, and so were other acts like the Soup Dragon, Better Than Ezra, Blind Melon, etc. to name a few that really changed my perspective of music and the likes of it.

I remembered every night in my dorm, I would religiously listened to Radio 4, RTM which is kind enough to play those songs, though filtered. That was the only one that offered us those alternative rock songs. Who even dream of digital radio station like Astro or MTV now? Or even private radio? Only THR solely existed for a private radio. And of course they too played those songs over the radio. There was no internet like now where I can just Google any information or download pictures or mp3 songs…there were no such things!

And yet we cut pictures, lyrics, anything that we can get our hands on and pasted them on our wall board…for us to admire those pictures and lyrics whenever we feel tired or bored of studying! Such simplicity and pureness. No pretentious or posers.

Those songs reflected my soul to the deepest core. I may not be in a relationship or doing drugs or drinking or disco dancing or whatever but those songs were my saviors, my escapee to a different world of my imagination. Sometimes I even imagined myself there singing in rhyme with them!!! A foolish idea others might think but we were young and so naturally we were attracted to that genre. We thought that they will never go away. We thought that we were so strong and solid and undeterred. How wrong we were.

When I was 20 the following year, River Pheonix died of OD. And then the founding father of grunge himself – Kurt Cobain in an unanswered, still debatable suicide. How devastated we were; to hear of these miseries. And yet we hold on to others to shine their light. But that was where we went downhill. Everything changed after that. Boy bands were taking over the airways, the clean cut mama boys’ look were in. Hip and booty gyrating hip hop and R&B ruled the airways and soon we were meeting our untimely death.

Life too took a different toll at this time. I was finishing my pre-university at that time and was on the lookout for places to stay. Suddenly, I lost track of time, place and people that I had become so familiar with. I was turning 21 in 95 and I was already feeling the burden of a responsible adult. And so, I lost myself in the waves of time from then on. I become what the society wants me to be. I behaved in the manner of what the society wants me to be. I became the very person that I vowed not to. But life took me into a direction that shaped and molded me to become of what I am today. I think I know that. I decided to do the right thing that I should - study hard, graduate and get a steady job.

And that’s when I realized that I lose myself more and more each day. I was detaching myself involuntarily from the escape world that I like so much that in the end, there were only emptiness left behind after all was done. Before I knew it, it was already 96, 97, 98 and 99 when I finally graduated.

Right before my eyes, the grunge was dead. And so there were only a few hopefuls. Bands disbanded or disappeared. Where did they go? Where did I go?

Now, much to the dismay of the past that went away unnoticed – I am now reliving those time again. Thanks to the internet, illegal downloads and all…I am able to get information that I wasn’t getting before. Though they come a tad too late, I am ever so grateful that at least I am permitted in my lifetime to revisit my past. Fashion comes and goes, people come and go. But true style, music and influence of my youth will always be deeply imprinted in my heart, soul and distant memory.

So goodbye, Nirvana, Lemonheads, Blind Melon, Toad the Wet Sprockets, Filter, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, Hootie and the Blowfish, The Cranberries, Gin Blossoms, Better Than Ezra, , REM, Faith No More, The Spin Doctors, Soundgarden, Fuel, Lightning Seeds, Lit, Soul Asylum, Collective Soul….and countless others that are too worthy……goodbye. Thank you for stopping by into my youth and thank you too for the excellent sounds - brilliant talents that can never be replaced. As the saying goes ‘they don’t make music like they used to in the 90s!’…

Silly it seems but all is good. Some regrets are still here and there, knowing from time to time what I had missed during that lost time due to lack of sources. But I now have those songs to cherish me again at 34 years of age. I would give my utmost soul to go back again but somehow, I know that those melody makers are somewhere on earth, hopefully as peaceful and as fulfilled as they should deserved for. And as for those who had passed us by, rest in peace. We’ll never find another you.

Thank you from the heart to those that kept me company through the 90s. Thank you, thank you so much.