Hardest Ramadhan Ever

This must be the hardest Ramadhan ever for me. It’s not just the weather, but because of the so many things that has been happening so far. For a start, it’s getting harder and harder to contain my hunger pangs; ever since I’ve been visited by a thing called gastric at the end of last year. Although I tried to have my ‘sahur’ diligently without fail, still the hunger is there; everyday especially after 10 am coz by that time from the 5 am onwards, it would be like 6 hours of non-food…it’s a bit too much for me to handle but I persevere anyway. I tried to stay strong and not think of the hunger so much though it really HURTS so badly most of the time.

I wish that we don’t have to fast that long in a day. In Malaysia, we’re fasting for almost 12 hours (that is actually ONE full day!)

Our Middle-East brothers and sisters do not have to endure that long; I was told by a friend that they fast for 6 hours only. Since I do not live in the Middle East, my understanding could be wrong. And one of the reasons why the Middle-Eastern people cannot fast in Malaysia is because of the long time of fasting.

It’s funny how time played us. No matter how much I tried to maintain my youth; the internal organs know it so well. I used to be able to fast the whole day without ever having to be woken up and interrupt my sleeping pattern. But now, those are just mere memories of my teens and my 20s. These days, I have to take the ‘sahur’ coz if I miss; there is no way I can go on fasting.

The only way for me to forget the hunger is by sleeping my way out. I know it’s ‘makruh’ but somehow it’s the only thing that worked. I can’t do my ‘ibadat’ when I’m constantly hungry, can I?

How jealous I am with the young and able-bodied for not having any difficulty in fasting. And yet, these youngsters are not even fasting . (I’m not accusing all but I’ve confession from my own students…)

What ailment do they have, anyway that makes it okay for them to not observe one of the holy tenets of Islam?

Duh, why am I blabbering? All I want is good health. For me to make it through times like this…ugh.