Ever wonder why
sometimes we dread when relatives come to visit? It's not that we're reluctant
or unfriendly; it's just that sometimes certain family tend to always make us
feel uncomfortable and unease at their
never-ending questionnaires.
For instance, in my
own family; having a mixed-rojak family, I tend to not really looking forward for their visits.
Not because I am too proud for my own good but it's just that I can't stand a
very low-level mentality. I feel sorry that I have such
relatives but they are the only connecting dots of my mom's side and I was
forced to just keep smiling and tolerate them. Well, enough is enough. Patience
is a virtue, no doubt but I think it's about time these family members taste a
bit of their own medicine!
Relatives all around the world seem
to be in a some sort of a secret-mission or brotherhood. They seem to be asking
the same kind of questions and the same kind of comments. I know that there is
a saying that 'Great Minds Think Alike' by Edward de Bono; but somehow I don't
think those questions posed actually come from a set of great thinkers. No
way.
So in no particular
order, here are some of the 'all-time favourites questions' that relatives tend
to ask when they come visiting:-
1. "So when
will you get married?" (me thinks this is a very often
spoken phrase that someone needs to pattern this so that it won't be uttered so
often anymore without them paying some sort of royalty money)
2. "So you are
not getting married soon?" (please refer to the above. different
sound and different tone but the same underlying meaning nevertheless. or
perhaps they just like to ask twice)
3. "So you're
still working as the same job before?" (like hell, yeah. I
told you so many times what I did before for a living. maybe next time I should
answer that I am now a high-class escort for the Datuk's and
Tan Sri's. that'll make 'em stop asking.)
4. "You are
still fat as before." (so? y'all still as stupid as before
too!)
5. "Why are
you buying a house? You're not getting married." (hum. since when
did the rule of buying a house only applies to the so-called married folks?
which planet are you living? Apes????? as far as I'm concerned, I'm living in
M'sia and I can buy a house without having to get a spouse first!)
6. "What are you
gonna do with all that property? You're not married. You don't have children.
Who will you give it to when you die? Charity??? (duh! that does it.
you are seriously testing my patience meter people. well, I made a will to whom
I will give all my property to. and your children are not included. so please
don't get your hopes high. don't even dream on it 'coz I'm not giving them to
you. Who gives a shit about Islamic law on property when they are always being
twisted by some greedy Muslims' relatives????)
7. "How come you
don't want to visit us?" (for the very
obvious reason dear relatives. you suck and yet you don't know it. I will never
come to your house.)
8. "Do you
remember us?" (yes, no, maybe. is it important for
me to remember you? let my mom do all the remembering thingy. I really don't
want to give that space on my brain for you suckers.)
9. "We want to use
the toilet." (notice that this is not a question? more of a demand. yes we know
of the amount of visiting that you made and the food and drinks that came along
with it but why is it only our toilets that you want to use? you don't seem to
go to the other family members' toilet when you're at their houses? it is only
when you arrived at ours that you have stomach issue. next time i'll charge you rm2.00 for every use so you can deduct that from your
children's duit raya."
10. "So, when you get
married; don't forget to invite us." (are you kidding
me? i plan to elope to Bali and have a beach wedding there so therefore you
aren't invited at all. anyway, you're not invited to my new house either.)
RUDE ? Yes, I am. Then again,
anyone who can spend two hours with them without having the slight feeling of annoyance or murderous
intent deserved a standing ovation.
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