I BID ADIEU, SAMBAL BELACAN

We had a farewell lunch for a staff yesterday’s afternoon. As usual, we were served those typical Malay dish of plain rice, ‘ayam goreng rempah’, ‘kari ikan’, ‘sayur campur’, ‘ulam’ and of course, the ‘sambal belacan’.

‘SAMBAL BELACAN’. Now that is a delicacy that I have to make do without these days. In fact, this has been the norm for me for the past 5 years already. Along with other favorites like ‘sambal udang with petai’, ‘sambal sotong’,’ketam masak lemak cili api’, shells like ‘lala masak pedas’, etc.

A lot of people would be bewildered with my reservations over those delightful foods. Among colleagues, I am forever doomed as someone who’s not enjoying one of the guilty pleasures of the world; eating ‘sambal belacan’ and seafood, except fish (selected ones, that is).

Once upon a time, it used to be a side dish that I cannot do without. For all the grilled fish or chicken that I had, it will be coupled with ‘sambal belacan’ mixed with tamarind juice for that extra kick-ass feel. Now, those will only be parts of my gastronomy history. I guess the saying of too much of everything will kill you in the end is right. I should have that moderation thingy reminder with me during those times but having said that, I owe all faults to none other than myself and now I must pay for the past deeds.

It is never the intention of mine to deny all these glorious food. But over the past five years, I had developed an allergic condition called ‘resdung’ which is already a nuisance as it is; what more with seafood? It will just trigger the happy mucus to come out from my nostrils non-stop - not to mention blocking them tunnels as well. (gross details, I know…)

I do want to eat that ‘sambal belacan’, so, so badly. There I was, standing in front of those grounded and pounded red chillies and shrimp paste. Looking and contemplating. Do I take it? Even for a minuscule size? Just to satisfy my cravings. And then suffer the consequences later? This was a very difficult situation. One part of me was saying to hell with the allergic reactions and just go for it. Another side somehow was telling me to remember the past unpleasant after-effects of consuming those forbidden side dish dip.

So I piled on my plain rice into that plastic plate. I scooped the fish curry and the gravy. I took the fried chicken too. I dig at the mix vegetables and got them out. And the bowl of the ‘sambal belacan’ was still there; still full, still inviting.

…And I walked away before the temptations took over and ruined everything that the doctor warned me against. I remembered the awful and dreadful after effects - the sneezing, the itchy nose, the watery eyes, the blocked nose. As much as I wanted that succulent ‘sambal belacan’, I just don’t think I’ll be able to stand the allergic reactions anymore. Not to mention the outbreak on my face and body as well. I think I will learn to let go of one of Malaysia’s favorite side dish – the ‘sambal belacan’.

So…..finally, this is goodbye to a long-time love whom I will see often; but can never have ‘it’ that way again. No regrets.

To My Gals!

..what a way to start the weekends; we gals went out for a bonding session and had a blast! who wouldn't say no to SIX gorgeous ladies who enjoys fine dining and great conversation??? it was strictly us, gals so thanks a lot to the yummy mommies for being soooooo understanding and leaving the hubbies and kids out of the picture..(they get to see them at home most of the time anyway, it's high time to see other faces)

we started dinner at the ever posh and happening marche and later continued to some karaoke session and back again for supper at the winter warmer's cafe. nevermind the food tempations; it was the conversation that stood out the most...to those who didn't attend well it's their lost and our gain.

it's such a great thing to meet your old pals back from the uni days. we had history all along the growing up years from the tender age of 18...doesn't that say something? i know that these are the people that i can trust and hope for in all times. husbands come and go, children grow up and fly away - but good friends will always stay by you no matter what (unless they really didn't want to reconnect; which is still a mystery to me...)

the thing is, we can't live without friends. at the end of the day when everything else failed you, it is always the friends that we came back to 'coz we know that we can rely on them even if it's only for emotional support and nothing more. i hope that this won't be the last 'coz we started this last december and so far it's going well.

so here's to hoping and wishing for a more merry making in the future..salute us gals!

why do we have to compare?

it's weird how people talk to the others. i really don't know whether it's to make the other feel sorry about it or just to bring the other person down. why do people like to compare someone with another? and it's always the physical aspect that will be the main agenda.

let me relate to a personal experience that i encountered in my working place. from day 1 that i stepped into that place, i was already being compared to another colleague. and then as time progresses, i was compared to a former 70s singer, Sharifah Aini. the reason given is because i seem to have lots of moles on my face. i don't think i look like her at all. even our moles are located differently on our face.

the latest comparison is worst. it's Adibah Noor. just because she used to be an english teacher, a tesl graduate & the fact that she is plus size. i have nothing against these two famous ladies; in fact its kinda good that these two managed to break the barrier of having to be super slim and super gorgeous just to join the entertainment industry.

but i'm not in the entertainment industry. i am an educator. teaching in a rural school. why am i being compared to these two ladies? i realised about the plus size factor but i think that's when the similarity ends.

some people are just damn cruel. some people never think before they speak. and when they speak it's always trashy. nothing good is ever coming out of their cheap-lipsticked mouth. i wonder why do they become educator in the first place? what values will they instill in their students when they themselves are unable to see a person's personality above all else.

quoting from an old friend of mine "those who say that to you didn't realise themselves that they are no scarlet johannsen.."...thanks marina for that. i vow to myself from now on that if ever anyone say that to me again, this time i won't just sit quietly and smile politely...these never work. play fire with fire. why should i let the hurt in me suffered silently while they laughed merrily in the middle of eating their fried rice and iced nescafe????

no more. it's time to do something about it. if it's not me then who will do it?

....duh!

so there. finally. i did it. why did it took so long? to blog that is. i should have just listened to my friends who told me looooong ago; just blog it, for goodness sake! so there. finally. i did it. damn!